January 4, 2006
Dear All,
Tough day today, emotionally, for Greg. He woke up tired, and fairly depressed about long term realities. Grieving days like this are important too, because it's not good for Greg to be in denial or to repress his feelings about the losses and challenges. As long as the tough days don't begin to overwhelm the positive and determined days -- and there's no sign yet of that happening. I'm really quite proud at how determined Greg has been to "fight well." And at how well he's done it. But in some ways, I think the hardest days are yet to come. As what he calls his "general euphoria at realizing he's alive" starts to diminish into the normalities of daily life, as he plods his way through seemingly very passive physio excercizes, the monster that is the "Tedium of Waiting" looms large. As most of you know, Greg is wired to Act... and the days, weeks, months of little change will be really really hard. He also has real fears about his eye, and whether more surgery might be required. It is possible. He will have many many questions for the surgeons when he next sees them on Jan. 25. He was a little overwhemed with fears and frustrations of all sorts, and finally went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon until a friend came to visit at 5 p.m. I think the sleep did him good, and he was a new person as he chatted and listened to our friend. Instead of the depressed sound in his voice and look in his eye, by the time she left he was tired with a smile.
Tonight he is in a much better space... and, he is busy looking up post-surgery acoustic neuroma information while the computer downloads your emails and blog comments. Yes, thanks to the gracious effort of a good friend, we have -- as of tonight -- internet access. It is only modem access -- very, very slow access. It will still be another 3 weeks wait before we have normal access, but it does mean that bit by bit we can begin to read your mail. We might not be responding much before we have a better connection, but this is a beginning -- and how glad we are to begin!
It is impossible to predict when Greg will be too tired for interaction, but when he is not too tired, he is longing for it. So do feel free to visit -- on the phone or in person. His one bright spot this morning was when I read a postcard from Greece and a letter from Canada to him. Of course Greg's innate longing for information will mean research online will start competing with phone time -- so don't be surprised that the phone is busy!
Our stomachs are contentedly full with some mysterious French delicacies prepared for dinner by Greg's parents. Happy stomachs always help.
Off now to watch a BBC DVD on the body -- guess we figure we don't know enough about that marvellous creation yet! Thank you for your continuing cares.
Kirstin
Tough day today, emotionally, for Greg. He woke up tired, and fairly depressed about long term realities. Grieving days like this are important too, because it's not good for Greg to be in denial or to repress his feelings about the losses and challenges. As long as the tough days don't begin to overwhelm the positive and determined days -- and there's no sign yet of that happening. I'm really quite proud at how determined Greg has been to "fight well." And at how well he's done it. But in some ways, I think the hardest days are yet to come. As what he calls his "general euphoria at realizing he's alive" starts to diminish into the normalities of daily life, as he plods his way through seemingly very passive physio excercizes, the monster that is the "Tedium of Waiting" looms large. As most of you know, Greg is wired to Act... and the days, weeks, months of little change will be really really hard. He also has real fears about his eye, and whether more surgery might be required. It is possible. He will have many many questions for the surgeons when he next sees them on Jan. 25. He was a little overwhemed with fears and frustrations of all sorts, and finally went back to bed and slept most of the afternoon until a friend came to visit at 5 p.m. I think the sleep did him good, and he was a new person as he chatted and listened to our friend. Instead of the depressed sound in his voice and look in his eye, by the time she left he was tired with a smile.
Tonight he is in a much better space... and, he is busy looking up post-surgery acoustic neuroma information while the computer downloads your emails and blog comments. Yes, thanks to the gracious effort of a good friend, we have -- as of tonight -- internet access. It is only modem access -- very, very slow access. It will still be another 3 weeks wait before we have normal access, but it does mean that bit by bit we can begin to read your mail. We might not be responding much before we have a better connection, but this is a beginning -- and how glad we are to begin!
It is impossible to predict when Greg will be too tired for interaction, but when he is not too tired, he is longing for it. So do feel free to visit -- on the phone or in person. His one bright spot this morning was when I read a postcard from Greece and a letter from Canada to him. Of course Greg's innate longing for information will mean research online will start competing with phone time -- so don't be surprised that the phone is busy!
Our stomachs are contentedly full with some mysterious French delicacies prepared for dinner by Greg's parents. Happy stomachs always help.
Off now to watch a BBC DVD on the body -- guess we figure we don't know enough about that marvellous creation yet! Thank you for your continuing cares.
Kirstin
posted by Kirstin Jeffrey Johnson | 9:32 pm
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