Wed. Dec. 21st

Dear All,

I arrived to find a very tired Greg this morning. He had already been out for a long walk, and for a visit with a friend, and he had worn himself out. The physio (kine') has not shown up for the last few days, which has frustrated Greg because he's very keen to be adequately challenging his physical limitations. The doctor tonight frowned when she heard that the physio had not been back, and said that she would try to get that sorted, but then she gave me a big smile which indicated that she was not surprised in the slightest when Greg went on to say that he had found some physio-stairs down near the rheumatology ward and so had been practicing on them! Initiative is something Greg is NOT lacking! As if it was perfectly normal for patients to wander off and do such things, she simply asked Greg how he had found climbing them (they are, I think, three up and three down). Apparently he managed them fine, with no vertigo, which is great. Our stairs at home may present more of a challenge, as there are fifteen of them, and they are rather steep, but I doubt it will be long before Greg will be attempting to conquer them too. Fortunately the house is laid out so that there is no need for Greg to climb the stairs at all -- but that's not likely to stop him! Good thing his parents are coming on the weekend -- it'll probably take all three of us to keep him corralled. But it is great that our property is so flat too, for Greg will be able to walk about outside quite easily.

And it sounds like he'll be home to do so on Friday! We'll know for sure tomorrow (so we've been told), but it sounds like the doctor's think that Greg won't learn anything new in Briancon that he isn't already doing now. So of course, when Greg heard that, he immediately tried to convince the doctor that he might as well leave tomorrow. She smiled at him and said it certainly didn't hurt to ask the surgeon tomorrow, but she doubted he'd allow anything earlier than Friday. I like this doctor because she takes time to read me and my non-verbal responses to her questions of Greg as carefully as she does Greg himself. And she is truly sincere as she wishes us both "Bon Courage."

"Bon Courage" is what Greg needs in his tired times. When he is full of energy and well rested, he is really positive, and often funny too. But when he gets tired, he can get down -- and each day is filled with numerous ups and downs. And he hates, of course, how tired he gets. But his energy will eventually return to normal. That just needs rest, eating well, and patience. It's his face that will require hard work -- and adjustments. It's easy, because the other things are visibly obvious, to forget that Greg's hearing has been cut in half, now that he is fully deaf in one ear. Sometimes a door will creak, or some paper rustle, and he thinks I have said something. Other times he completely misunderstands a word, or even a question. This too will take time as Greg learns to hear better with one ear, and adjusts to how sound has changed for him. But while initiative comes easily, patience is much harder work.

Today was another day filled with such gracious and kind offers of help and care. We are most definitely not alone in this, for which we are both so grateful. I had a wonderful snooze this afternoon on Greg's bed when a group of friends from work came and spirited him off to the cafe. (Needless to say the nurse was a little startled when she came around with the thermometer and found the wrong body in the bed!)

So don't be too discouraged and find Greg down -- and don't be deceived if you visit and find him on a high. I am sure he will vacillate between the two for some time yet. Today he was very happy to see these four friends -- at other times he can't handle having anyone speaking at all. Our dear friend Sharon who has been here helping has learned how to spend hours upon hours helping us from places other than Greg's room, just because additional voices and presences can sometimes simply be too much for him. He was told by a medical friend today a bit more about the fragility of the brain stem cell and just how much of the vital functions it affects. As his was so entirely bent out of shape, and so assaulted, really, by the tumor, it seems a small miracle that Greg is as good as he is. And I think that at sometimes it is easier to know what to do with such awareness than at other times.

In case anyone is wondering about Greg's hospital roommate, he was back from his surgery today, and looking really good! Almost no tubes, and he had a good lunch, and chatted lots with two friends who had come to visit -- all on the first day. So Sharon and I were feeling much better about him this afternoon!

And now I am home early, aiming for a longer night's sleep. This means the evening may stretch out further for Greg though -- may he too have a full and restful sleep. Under the mercy, Kirstin